we're {paper} pregnant!

pa·per preg·nan·cy: [pey-per][preg-nuhn-see]

"This is the technical term for one who is wading through the mountains of nightmarish paperwork required to bring home a precious child from somewhere other than her own body."

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 Thank you to Angel, and her post "How to Know if Your Friend is Paper Pregnant" for the definition and for the following other helpful tips to identify the signs of a paper prego friend ...

Angel is adopting soon from Ethiopia, and our family will soon be fost/adopting from Alameda County, so I added my own two-cents since no two paper pregnancies are exactly alike ...



1} She SCOURS agency websites for every tidbit of info ~ even if the information is from another state where the fost/adopt laws have no bearing in her county of residence, it's just nice to know in case we end up moving there...

2} She spends an absurd amount of time picking the PERFECT family photo for her adoption agency application ~ or the perfect "photos" for the family brochure that her FFA social worker is going to hand out to all of the county social workers he knows in hopes that that brochure will catch their eye just at the right time when "the" phone call comes for "the" baby that needs "this" family....

3} She starts watching homecoming and referral day videos on youtube 24/7 ~ my favorite homecoming video (so far) .... and, even her husband puts crazy "Dad Videos" on his Facebook page announcing his eagerness to be a member of the Dad Club..

4} She searches desperately to find every known blog of a person in process 4 her chosen country ~ or listens to three years worth of Foster Parenting Podcast  in two weeks... or watches every parenting video at Empowered To Connect... or registers for the Show Hope / Empowered To Connect Adoption Conference in Nashville... or all of the above:))

5} She develops radar for "timelines" and tries to estimate what her time frame will be for bringing home her little one ~ or she just walks around saying "I have no idea when we are due, if it's a boy or a girl, or even who the father is... but we are so excited!"

6} She looks at every little boy/girl on her favorite blogs wonders if THAT'S how her little pumpkin will look ~ and prays prays prays that her child(ren) will be supremely adorable (to her!)

7} She adds a timeline to her blog even though it only has one sad little entry ~ there's just no use for this as a fost/adpot Mama... it's just impossible to know... good thing we are adventurous!

8} She tells EVERY person she know how excited she is ~ ... even the lady in the craft store that helped her pick out the kit to make her "paper pregnant" necklace... (she was so excited for us too that she GAVE me the "hope" charm for free... as long as i promised to bring the baby(s) to the craft store so she could give him/her/them a kiss!) ....**{free hint}** ~ this is NOT the time to tell your friend "Once you adopt, you'll get pregnant"... that just breaks her heart because it minimizes the miracle of THIS child who is WANTED and deeply loved.  Infertility sucks, but adoption is so completely beautiful, miraculous, and incredibly exciting.  She wants you to want her child too.

9} She makes a nuisance of herself asking all her adoption friends endless questions ~ and asking adult adoptees what they wish their parents knew before they adopted... and then asking her adoption friends more questions...

10} She googles to find the cutest names and what they mean ~ we named our kids in about thirty seconds when we were engaged... but, who knows, they may come with names that we love and want to keep for them... or we might just get spontaneous (like, the other day, when i met someone whose middle name was "Shalom"... ooooh, i love that!!! ... how awesome to name your child "peace" after they have come from a place of chaos and loss... gotta run that one by Rodney first, ...ahem!)

11} She starts picturing what every activity will be like with that little one (or two) added to the family ~ ...anybody know where i can find some kind of "daily routine" ideas?... i seriously think about this a LOT and have no clue how we will figure this one out (probably because i don't do well with "routine")...

12} She has a bizarre compulsion to buy various tshirts and jewelry w/pictures of her child's country on it ~ yeah, so pictures of downtown Oakland just don't seem as glamourous as pictures of Africa or China... so my new "paper pregnant" necklace will have to do....

13} She suddenly starts blogging again ~ ...i'll probably always be a bit sporadic... it's just how this free spirit rolls...

14} Her husband stops spending money on anything that isn't labeled "adoption expense" ~ well, our adoption will be free, so we have spent the last year getting out of debt (baby step #2) and fully funding our emergency fund of six months' living expenses (baby step #3) so that i am able to quit my full-time job to be home with the baby(s).... this week, we are 42% through baby step #3!!!!!!!!!!!

THEN she basically walks around floating on air.... true!!!

Yeah, this is definitely a wonderful crazy paper pregnancy!  I am {{glowing}} with joy and anticipation and excitement!!


Please join us in praying for our children ~ that God will keep their heart, mind, and body safe until we all find each other.  Please pray for us, that God will prepare us to help our children through the grief of losing their biological family, possibly their birth-culture (and that we would have many opportunities to help them celebrate who they are, as well as wherever they have come from), and that we would be patient as we all learn how to be a family that loves each other, loves others, and loves God.

I made this necklace last night:))  It's my one "maternity" outfit!!

"Understand, therefore,
that the LORD your God is indeed God. 

He is the faithful God who keeps His covenant

for a thousand generations

and lavishes His unfailing love

on those who love Him and obey His commands."

~Deuteronomy 7:9~