i am {betsy}

"You cannot amputate your history 

from the fulfillment of your destiny. 

When I am in Jesus, 

my past is something 

He takes hold of 

and makes it into a destiny. 

That's called redemption!" 

- Beth Moore

***************

I just found out tonight...

like a slap across my face

just wandering around the internet...

I am Betsy.

The thing is, 

I really would take a bullet for her... 

I just wish I had been better at being...

at listening...

at writing...

at acting out the love I feel for her & her family... 

in a way that they felt my love...

I am just not enough...

never have been....

not even close.

I am flawed.

Grief flows fresh again tonight.

Soul-ripping grief

that never does the right thing

or says the right words

or is the right person.

I am paralyzed 
by the public renunciation...

the rejection...
the cruelty.

I believe in redemption.

I believe there is more than believing:

There is living what I believe.

Lord, help my unbelief.

"The depth of sorrow 

has a way of changing 

the way you share your life, 

your heart, your God. 

It makes you want to shout 

the name of Jesus 

because you realize 

that after all, 

in the very midst of it, 

He is real. 

It isn't just a big book. 

It's the truth,

 and it has changed me. 

He has used this season 

to show me an image of myself, 

kissing His feet while the tears slip to the ground. " 

Angie Smith